Hit Me, Part 1

In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell addresses a case study of teenage smoking, that baffling and enduring cultural epidemic. Fitting into his overall theory of the Law of the Few, he talks about the strength of personality of certain individuals who, when picking up the habit, are able to influence and give social “permission” to their peers to adopt smoking as well. He also notes, according to his second theory of Stickiness, what everyone knows: nicotine is addictive, and some people are drawn to it more than others. These long known factors have been elusive to the anti-smoking movement, because they have always focused their campaigns on issues that either tell people what they already know or that miss the driving socio-cultural factors that attract youth to try it out.

Smoking preference is a personal matter. My thoughts, rather, were stuck on Gladwell’s mentioning of adults (or parents) being so much less influential on a young persons’ decision to smoke than the youth’s peers –in particular, those who embody the traits of, “defiance, sexual precocity, honesty, impulsiveness, indifference to the opinion of others, [and] sensation seeking.” (238)

It’s a concept we all know. Parents are less influential of their adolescents – always has been, and likely always will be. They exist in different social circles; people relate to their own age group; every child must prove his or her independence, etc. The Wild One, James Dean, “Parent’s Just Don’t Understand,” every coming of age film in the past 60 years, punk rock, and now, unfortunately, even complete morons can symbolize the youth ideal (Paris Hilton et al.) – though I suppose every generation has had their idols.

Joseph Campbell speaks about how when parental lessons and imparted wisdom fail to apply to a youth’s social experience and obstacles, and this becomes the start of a major loss of credibility, even if only unconscious. That’s why people often don’t (and probably, shouldn’t) believe regular praise from their parents. Mainstream culture changes too rapidly, and for most of us who are only passive participants and observers, navigating a new labyrinth of current trends isn’t worthwhile if you aren’t absolutely terrified of getting picked on.

American youth go through rites of passage dictated by bureaucracies intent on producing conforming, if not outstanding, workers to fill in new spots in the system. Score high on SATs, get into college, do well enough in college to find a job despite possible residual alcoholic tendencies, try to put money away from retirement and not blow too much dough on personal indulgences. Most people hate their jobs. Most youths hope they won’t be one of that majority, if they think about it at all. But once you’re locked in, it’s very hard to make a switch. Comfort is often an enemy to risk, and by our 30s, when all of our being tested and struggling -- like we were told by those selling us education -- should be behind us, most everyone can settle with what they have if they’re comfortable. This is the personality change that occurs: a general lessening of ambition due to fatigue.

Now this certainly isn’t a castigation of the average guy (or girl)– I wish empathize more than criticize. The point is, why be surprised by the disconnect between parents and youth? With full lives ahead of them, why wouldn’t an adolescent choose defiance over letting their lives get sucked out by routine, bills, and authority, let alone listen to someone who has submitted to this, regardless of the person’s amount of choice in the matter?

To sum up, this rant was a impromptu sampling of the odds stacked against so many, but its real purpose is as the first step in an effort to brainstorm. The question: How can anyone take real agency in preventing the need to submit to the hand we were dealt? Or maybe I'll just offer some encouragement to do, and praise for doing so.

But at least in the worst case scenario, once our kids hit their 20s, they’ll start realizing the same thing, plop down on the neighboring chair, and share a silent drink over our newly shared circumstance. Unless we, and they, are lucky enough to buck the trend.